I coach managers on this all the time. How I explain it to them is by using Einstein, emotion, and a river.
You've all heard of Einstein's theory of relativity, right? You know: E=mC2? In this theory, E = "energy".
Therefore, E motion = "energy in motion."
When we have attachment to something, we "hold" it or "hang on" to it. This ceases the motion part of the equation.
It's like thinking a river is beautiful so you create a dam to keep it from getting away.
When you bottle up your emotions like that, they become poisonous. This is the problem with attachment. And not just attachment to emotions. Attachment to anything and anyone is detrimental.
Attachment comes from the belief that somehow, we own or can somehow posess something or someone. Loved ones are a perfect example of common natural attachment.
When we care for someone, we want to keep them close to us. For some, this leads to jealousy and posession. In other, more natural cases, such as the attachment to a parent or a child, it can stifle the relationship and be a cause of grief.
Caring, on the other hand involves acknowledging something, honoring it, and then letting it go; allowing it to continue the journey it was meant to have. Accepting that you don't "own" anything and that nothing "belongs" to you becomes the most powerful way of being in that you are constantly exercising humility, are constantly appreciative (even of things you never thought you would be), and focus your energies on valuing what you have, not what you might lose.
If you're a reading type, Don Miguel Ruiz, one of Carlos Castaneda's students, speaks of attachment in his book, "The Four Agreements" and discusses extensively how one remains unattached but caring. It's a good read. I reccommend it highly.
If you prefer Eastern philosophies, "The Places That Scare You" by Pema Chodron, also discuss losing attachment.  |