I apologize for confusing you. But then again maybe that means we are on the right track.
Ok after reading all this i'm even more confused LOL So you're saying,what i am feeling in regards to this guy is a soulmate thing,but HE isnt my soulmate,he's just the one that was (for some reason) chosen to mirror this back to me? Then why didnt my real soulmate do that instead? I mean,why go through another person for all this,wouldn't it be much more easier and faster if the universe would just show me the right one the first time?
It's not that he is or is not your SoulMate. What I am trying to help your understand is that the world around you is a reflection of your own self. Just like in a dream, the dream characters in the dream are just extensions of your own consciousness, reflecting different aspects of you.
Your SoulMate is a part of you, you cannot be separate. The SoulMate is not a person to find outside of yourself, but inside yourself.
Picture this. A person is standing in front of a tall mirror. They look in the mirror and think to themselves "goodness that person is a mess! look at those wrinkly and dirty clothes!". The person tries cleaning the mirror with windex and even moving the mirror around, but no matter what they do the person in the mirror still has wrinkled and dirty clothes.
We think it is silly because the image in the mirror is obviously a reflection of the person standing in front of it, but the person does not realize they are looking into a mirror at all. They think there is something wrong with the mirror.
I realize the analogy is a bit flawed but I think you can see what I am getting at.
Likewise if you are in a relationship with someone and you keep thinking to yourself how you would like them to be different, to be your SoulMate, and you keep trying to change them, it will not work. This is because they are a mirror you are standing in front of. You need to change yourself to change the reflection.
In the case of your SoulMate, what needs to be done is to change and shift your heart.
Here is a quote from the uniting TwinFlames website: "If you are in a relationship where there is a difficult situation -- where you find that your coming together will bring pain to another person -- OR if you think someone is your Twin Flame but he or she is with someone else or for any other reason unavailable – this means that your own heart is not clear.
You are drawing the Twin Flame energy or the desire is being born in you to be with your Twin Flame, but something in you is still holding on to the old or keeping your Twin Flame at a distance."
THATS the problem...how can you not have an idea of who you want? Everyone has a preference,a type,and standards. If you open up your mind to be with ANYONE then it just sounds like you're being desperate,you dont care who they are or even if you're attracted to them. So how do you keep an open mind about who you are going to attract when you only like a certain type of person? I've dated guys who weren't my type and it only caused problems and i was never happy with them,so why leave it up to the universe who i get? That feels like an arranged marriage type situation LOL Where's the free will in choosing who you love?
The only one who has a preference, type and standards is the ego. The only one who thinks they are "desperate" is the ego. The ego is the one who only likes a certain type of person. The "i" (ego) is the one who dated guys who weren't it's type and found reasons to be unhappy.
The ego is not concerned about being able to choose "who" to love, but in what package it comes in. The ego wants to get, not to give.
Do you see it now?
There is no choosing who you Love... there is only choosing to Love. Conditional love is not love, it is ego. True Love does not have limits or conditions. True Love is giving, not getting.
But i DO feel like i am looking within myself! I know i can love,i feel love inside me,long before i even knew who this guy was! I just want to share it with him,i dont need him to make me love,i already know i don't need someone else to make me love. I still feel like i'm doing this right.
If you are feeling Love then you are on the right track. You can share your Love with your SoulMate without having them before you in a body (and this is the key to manifesting them in the physical form). Open your heart to your SoulMate inside you (visualize them if you want) and just pour Love!
All you need to do is feel that Love without thinking, and just surrender to it. Open your heart and feel the presence of your SoulMate there and just allow the Love to flow.
Its hard to think there is anything better when you want something so badly. It doesnt even have to pertain to relationships,you can be talking about a certain car you want,or a certain job. Its just the simple principle that you want a certain thing BECAUSE of what it is,you dont want something different or even similar.
I will add one more thing.
Say you are in a trainstation. There is a train currently in the station that you really want to get on to, and you really really think that you are meant to get on this train and ride it where it takes you. You keep trying to get on it, but the man at the door won't let you get on because you don't have a ticket. You refuse to accept this, and you hold up the train for hours, days, years, trying to get onto this train that you don't have a ticket for, because you are so sure you need to ride it.
Eventually, the train just leaves without you, and maybe it breaks your heart.
You are sitting on a bench in the trainstation totally bummed out that the train you wanted to get on so badly has left.
Suddenly, you notice another train pulling in on the same tracks that the other train just left on.
It's a really nice train and you get a good vibe from it. You approach and a man at the door of one of the train cars says to you "Goodness me! It took us FOREVER to get into this station! There was another train on the tracks that was being held up by something for a long time!"
You look in your hand and to your amazement there is a ticket there, for boarding the train that just pulled into the station. You get on the train and... "happily ever after".
Sometimes we don't really know what is best for us, but our egos can be really stubborn about things and slow down the process of the universe manifesting what is really in our best interest.
P.S. you are welcome justbe