Why not ask your friends what they are feeling? You are assuming what is going on is all about you, perhaps it is something else.
From your description of the girl related to the band, I'm also leaning towards a jealousy issue. Jealousy is not rational, some people get jealous over a mere exchange of looks. Do you know what was in the message from the band? Seems strange for someone to delete a message in someone else's account. Did you ask her why she deleted the message?