Before bringing unconditional love into the situation, you should love yourself first. Taking care of yourself, making yourself happy, being a strong individual, etc.
Don't expect anyone to make you happy, you should be happy to begin with, going into a relationship being unhappy isn't going to do you any favors or your on again/off again boyfriend.
Unconditional love is accepting someone as they are, not for what they can do for you, not what kind of job they have, how much money they have, how cool they are, special skills they have, etc. If you love someone, you love them, your heart tells you so, it's the only indicator that you should be following. As soon as you start thinking about the things they can do for you to make you happy, you're letting your ego control your decisions.
As soon as your ego gets involved and says he should be doing this, and he's the kind of guy who does that, and he isn't really good at that, etc. etc. etc. Those aren't problems he has, those are problems you have with him & most importantly yourself.
The conflict is always within you. If you have a problem with how someone does something or the kind of person they are, the problem is with you and you have to determine what it is in you that you have a problem with. Just remember you can't control someone else's thoughts & actions, that's just a waste of energy and a source of most conflicts in relationships. You can only control your actions & thoughts, that's all you can be responsible for. Controlling someone or trying to isn't love either. Why does someone else have to change or be different to make you happy.
Requiring someone to change into something else and do things differently so that it will make you happy sets you up for failure to begin with. As long as you place requirements on the other person to do/say/act/perform a certain way, you setup lacking and the path to eventual disappointment. If you can't be happy with him how he is regardless of his quirks, you won't be happy with him if he changes into something else because you will still find him lacking in another area. And if your partner has to change so much to fit your view of the person you want to be with, your love has conditions and therefore isn't unconditional
Search yourself, find out why certain things that your partner says or does bothers you and determine if it's a problem on his part or your own.
As for the sex, sometimes physical attraction & abstinence can make you do something you might not have - remember it for what it was, an experience that involved 2 people. If it was just sex and your heart wasn't really in it, look into that and determine for yourself why it happened. I'm assuming he didn't force you the first or second time, here's another clue that the issue really lies with you.
Communication is important in any relationship, more so the listening than the talking. Don't just communicate with him, how about yourself. Why did you feel you had to go out for dinner? Why did you feel you had to stay over? Why did you feel you had to be physically intimate, not once by twice. Be honest with yourself and this person your involved with, if you can't do this, it's another point of failure & conflict that you will have deal with.
You're an adult, time to make adult decisions and be mature about this, determine what it is you want in life, if it isn't this person, continuing to be involved in his life with dinners & sex is going to confuse the heck out of him as much as it's causing you grief.
Do you want him and really love him? Accept this person in your life regardless of their faults and expect that this person do the same for you - that is unconditional love. This person can add to your overall happiness if you allow them but they aren't responsible for your happiness, anyone who tells you different doesn't know what they're talking about. You are responsible for your own happiness, it's your life, no one elses. You were happy before you were ever in a relationship, does that have to change when you get into a relationship? You can be in a relationship, maintain your individuality and be responsible for your own happiness.
You can only make yourself happy by determining that you want to be happy and then finding out what it will take for you to do to yourself to make you & keep you happy. If you are genuinely happy with yourself and choose to love someone and add that person to your life, you can expect to have a rewarding, loving, fulfilling relationship. If you expect that other person to be responsible for making you happy, you can expect the opposite.
I'm not being hard on you, just keeping it real and being honest - everyone deserves this much. I wish you happiness & success in your future and I hope you control it's pace & direction.
