I can tell you that I am a very patient person, but I have no tolerance for this. Be it from the husband or wife. You need to take control of yourself, not let another control you. Also you cannot change others no matter how much you love them. I would say run, and fast! I have been in a controlling relationship in the past and I can tell you it isn't pretty. My boyfriend at the time didn't want me to finish my college degree, he didn't want me to wear lipstick (in fear of attracting other men to me)...the list goes on. I went out with him for two months, and when I broke free, I smiled everyday in his presence with the most beautiful shade of lipstick you have ever seen!
I have since been married to the most wonderful man for almost 14 years. We support eachother wholeheartedly. There is no control of each other, only of ourselves and yes, balance is key. It is absolutely, but it's a balance of love and not control.