[Michelle]

Okay, more:

I attend an elitest arts university in Switzerland as a classical singer. It is my last year (of 8). I have had a fantastic, world class education and I love my singing professor. There is also no doubt in my mind that singing is the tool for living my purpose. I have a lot of freedom and time to work, very few exams and almost no marks to worry about. That is the beauty of this school for artists. Artists need air and room. I have it, which is why I can afford the rebellion of these past two weeks.

Two weeks ago I realized that talent has gotten me very far, and that any actual work I have done til now has been to keep peace in my life. This means any practicing or preparation for lessons/performances have been done to please/appease professors.

This no longer suits me. I want my work to please me, and I want my motivation to be my own. So, while the old motivation has been removed (that of doing everything to please/appease) there is still a vacuum in that area - meaning I am motivationless and don't know what to do.