It hurts so much, but I know I have to have true separation. Not just a break. But a true separation.
I have spent the past 2 days just crying my heart out. Alot of fear.
I wrote in my journal:
What do I want? Peace, stability, joy. |
Are these things a relationship can give me? No.
They can only come from me. And it's so unfair! Why can't someone give it to me? I need to be taken care of. I can't survive alone.
I'm so scared to look inside myself. There is so much pain inside. I can barely endure the pain right now. I want it to go away, and I want to be happy.
I don't have faith. I'm not sure I have courage, either.
I don't know if I can take care of myself. I'm not sure I'm enough.
I'm in so much pain right now. I can barely get out of bed. Thank god today my boss is out of town, so I could stay home. I am so glad that my current job is so flexible, and I could take a few days off if I need to.
I'm so tired.