Uber, you are making a big mistake (well, I made it too, so it must be quite common). I too thought that unconditional love meant finding a way to cope with whatever your significant other throws your way, "rising above it". Well, it does not. The pain you feel is a warning. Heed its call!
You must first unconditionally love yourself. Ask yourself: is what you are having now the kind of relationship YOU want? Remember why you chose to have this break in the first place. Has that reason become invalid? Has something about him significantly changed? And why do you think that you should suppress your feelings for his benefit?
Also, I have concluded that, in most cases, for men having sex is not equal to having relationship. So by this logic his two statements - about not seeing you two in relationship and about him wanting to be owned by you are in fact not contradictory. If you offer sex to a man, he will be more than happy to take it - but it does not mean that you are having a relationship. It's just sex, nothing more.
I am at pain to express my point more clearly and with more logic, since what is happening to you is just so extremely similar to what happened to me recently that I just have this big red flashing light in my head that screams "get out of there, and fast". Perhaps I am relating to this in the wrong way, but I would suggest that you are extremely cautious and put your feelings and your well being above everything else. Since there is unlimited abundance in the world, you can freely discard things that do not fit you - it will only allow the things that do fit come to you sooner. Never be satisfied with a tiny bit of the cake - you can have it all.