Quote:
Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  I've come pretty far since the break up with my ex, but right now I feel myself slipping back.
What do you do when you know the reason for your pain, you have the tools to fix it, you have support and you know it's up to you but you still feel like ****?
The issues I am facing are:
Memories of painful things that happened while we were together that seem to be resurfacing in a big way now.
We've had communication that felt very positive, but now it's slowed. I have feelings about why -- what does it mean? I try to analyze it too much.
When he talks to me he says how much he misses me, how good I was to him, how we are friends, etc. But I still feel like it's fake. And I know that is "I am nothing" talking. I feel good when we talk like everything is fine, but then when I don't hear from him after that I wonder why.
I know that it is none of my business what he does or whether he calls me, etc. I know that I have the responsibility to let go of these fears and pain and generate something better. I know that the things that happened or the things happening now don't mean anything about me. Everyone has their own pain and he could very well be acting out of his. But I still feel bad right now.
I thought it best to be open about all of this in case it may help someone else to see what I'm going through. I see similar situations on the boards and I try to help knowing that in many ways I am talking to myself.
Now I could use your thoughts. |
I feel the same way as you - and that's after having talked to Angela! So I'm listening to the advice here just as much as you. And I guess sometimes we just hold on to our pain because we do, that's what we're used to doing. So from one person holding on fast to her pain (knowing she doesn't have to), to another person doing the same, I have to say you're doing OK (even if you don't feel like it right now!).
J x