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Gozunn · 03-03-2008, 10:26 PM

I can't really imagine what you're going through and even though this is supposedly my 'opinion' I can't really say I can tolerate anything else. Before I give my harsh critisicm from a total I-don't-know-what-you're-going-through point of view I'd first like to say: don't act too fast. I know you've considered the repercussions and have looked over the issues time and time again, make sure you KNOW its the right choice. Right now, as I'm sure you know, your body is being influenced by hormones out of your control. Make sure your emotions are coming from within you. Give it time.

Now...I never really did see the whole point of an abortion. If you don't want the baby-fine, put it up for adoption. A life is too valuable to throw away like that. Sure you suffer for what- 9 months of your life. But you're destroying an entire person in there. I always imagined what I'd do if my mother told me I was adopted. I'd tell her she was still my mother because she's the one that raised me, this does not mean that my biological mother would count for nothing but she'd be just a 'close' person if I met her in the future. I don't believe you have a right to take away that child's life. I don't believe you should be given the responsability. Its too much on your hands! A person is your son or daughter because of their values and their morals not because of their biology! How can no one else see it like this??I just can't understand you people and the importance you give to your genes. WHO CARES?? You're either his mother or you're not. Don't worry there were many parentless children who still made it in the real world. But that's HIS path to take not yours. How can you say "I don't want this child to think his mother abandoned him" how can you anticipate what he's going to feel and then make it a fact? How can you think about how YOU would feel? You've mentioned that its a selfish thing to do- I agree with you its an incredibly selfish thing to do. If you don't want the baby put it up for adoption DON'T kill it. Don't worry they'll find someone to take care of them. You're just afraid that in the future he will give you one hell of a bashing and then you will feel horrible and all that- and that in itself IS selfish. You're afraid of confrontation so MUCH that you're willing to sacrifice his life. You can escape him or face him later but don't kill him for god's sake.

I know a 16 year old girl who is pregnant and is going to go along with it (so far), and this poor girl got pregnant on her very first time. She's a quiet girl and is now in a world of total trauma but she never ever shows it. Someone told me about it (I scolded them because they treat it as some type of gossip). I'm not saying you should be like this girl, but I for one admire this girl because she's brave, and even though you can't help but feel this way make sure you do the right thing. When its only you that's involved you don't have to do the right thing, but when someone else is involved (i:e the father;your baby) you have to do right thing or otherwise you're not a good person.

My own brother and his girlfriend had an 'accident', he isn't sure whether he loves his partner but he sure as hell loves his daughter and even though she's going to make life a hell of a lot more difficult for him, she is a part of him. And when I see her I just can't imagine how I'd hate him if he had taken the easy way out. Because that's what abortion is really- an easy way out.

There: that's my 2c right there. I was very harsh and inconsiderate and I judged you after you asked us politely not to. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I'm probably just all-talk and when push comes to shove and reality sets in I'll react like you or maybe worse than you but I know that what I'm saying NOW is the right way to do things and by right I mean doing right by the people around you. I'm really sorry for the position you are in and I know I willl get alot of harsh comments for what I said to you. You can't help the way you feel right? You aren't perfect, no one is. But I just can't close my eyes when someone else's life is involved even though that life is your son or daughter's. But I'm of the opinion that my life is mine-and has always been mine, just because my mother once had the power to destroy it doesn't mean its not mine all the same. There is a person inside you- and you are sacrificing nine months of your life. Nine painful months that might change your life forever but its not irrepairable and neither is your baby's trauma. Since there is hope why just give up so easily?

I'm really really sorry for these comments especially at this point in your life and if it had been just an opinion I would've been more considerate but I can't see how anyone could see it differently. Forgive me for my bigotism and my utter ignorance.

You are in this situation not me and in the end I reluclantly say that you should still go by your feelings because you might regret it. Sure I attempted to sway you but don't be pressured into a decision, take your time and consider all the variables. Now then..you may all throw the sharpest of daggers at me.

03-03-2008, 10:26 PM	#24 (permalink)
Gozunn Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 42	I can't really imagine what you're going through and even though this is supposedly my 'opinion' I can't really say I can tolerate anything else. Before I give my harsh critisicm from a total I-don't-know-what-you're-going-through point of view I'd first like to say: don't act too fast. I know you've considered the repercussions and have looked over the issues time and time again, make sure you KNOW its the right choice. Right now, as I'm sure you know, your body is being influenced by hormones out of your control. Make sure your emotions are coming from within you. Give it time. Now...I never really did see the whole point of an abortion. If you don't want the baby-fine, put it up for adoption. A life is too valuable to throw away like that. Sure you suffer for what- 9 months of your life. But you're destroying an entire person in there. I always imagined what I'd do if my mother told me I was adopted. I'd tell her she was still my mother because she's the one that raised me, this does not mean that my biological mother would count for nothing but she'd be just a 'close' person if I met her in the future. I don't believe you have a right to take away that child's life. I don't believe you should be given the responsability. Its too much on your hands! A person is your son or daughter because of their values and their morals not because of their biology! How can no one else see it like this??I just can't understand you people and the importance you give to your genes. WHO CARES?? You're either his mother or you're not. Don't worry there were many parentless children who still made it in the real world. But that's HIS path to take not yours. How can you say "I don't want this child to think his mother abandoned him" how can you anticipate what he's going to feel and then make it a fact? How can you think about how YOU would feel? You've mentioned that its a selfish thing to do- I agree with you its an incredibly selfish thing to do. If you don't want the baby put it up for adoption DON'T kill it. Don't worry they'll find someone to take care of them. You're just afraid that in the future he will give you one hell of a bashing and then you will feel horrible and all that- and that in itself IS selfish. You're afraid of confrontation so MUCH that you're willing to sacrifice his life. You can escape him or face him later but don't kill him for god's sake. I know a 16 year old girl who is pregnant and is going to go along with it (so far), and this poor girl got pregnant on her very first time. She's a quiet girl and is now in a world of total trauma but she never ever shows it. Someone told me about it (I scolded them because they treat it as some type of gossip). I'm not saying you should be like this girl, but I for one admire this girl because she's brave, and even though you can't help but feel this way make sure you do the right thing. When its only you that's involved you don't have to do the right thing, but when someone else is involved (i:e the father;your baby) you have to do right thing or otherwise you're not a good person. My own brother and his girlfriend had an 'accident', he isn't sure whether he loves his partner but he sure as hell loves his daughter and even though she's going to make life a hell of a lot more difficult for him, she is a part of him. And when I see her I just can't imagine how I'd hate him if he had taken the easy way out. Because that's what abortion is really- an easy way out. There: that's my 2c right there. I was very harsh and inconsiderate and I judged you after you asked us politely not to. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I'm probably just all-talk and when push comes to shove and reality sets in I'll react like you or maybe worse than you but I know that what I'm saying NOW is the right way to do things and by right I mean doing right by the people around you. I'm really sorry for the position you are in and I know I willl get alot of harsh comments for what I said to you. You can't help the way you feel right? You aren't perfect, no one is. But I just can't close my eyes when someone else's life is involved even though that life is your son or daughter's. But I'm of the opinion that my life is mine-and has always been mine, just because my mother once had the power to destroy it doesn't mean its not mine all the same. There is a person inside you- and you are sacrificing nine months of your life. Nine painful months that might change your life forever but its not irrepairable and neither is your baby's trauma. Since there is hope why just give up so easily? I'm really really sorry for these comments especially at this point in your life and if it had been just an opinion I would've been more considerate but I can't see how anyone could see it differently. Forgive me for my bigotism and my utter ignorance. You are in this situation not me and in the end I reluclantly say that you should still go by your feelings because you might regret it. Sure I attempted to sway you but don't be pressured into a decision, take your time and consider all the variables. Now then..you may all throw the sharpest of daggers at me.