Hi Zoomorphic, you know how people around here where i live make a solution for that same problem that you have?, they just stop working, and they start using drugs, very young people like you and i, and even younger, 12, 6 year olds using drugs to feel better, life can be so much easier that way, you just dont do nothing or do any effort, you just relly on drugs for the feeling of weel beign. Please dont end like them, thats self destruction, a waste of precious life full of posibilities.
Life can be so hard for some, i know, but dont be a slave of your circumstances, you can do whatever you want, but that takes effort. Why to make the effort?, whats the point?, you make the effort not for the sake of the effort itself and the suffering that it might bring, but because of the reward that the effort will create, in short, you make an effort for a purpose, thats what you need, a purpose, be brave to choose a purpose, there is a point, you just have to find one for yourself.
If you find a purpose, your perspective will change, and youll see things differently, because every effort you make, any difficulty you face, every struggle, will have a purpose, and youll be exited to overcome it, because youll be seeing the reward, and hoping for it, and that will be your fuel that will give you strenght to face all obstacles and all difficulties, youll want to reach you objective so much, that everything else will be just an exiting challenge to overcome, and the road to your purpose will be an adventure, not a torture.
As a tool to overcome your bitterness, i strongly recommend EFT, it has helped me in overcoming fears, shyness, anger, and even become more productive and enjoy more my job
Tapping.com - Free EFT Videos - Emotional Freedom Technique for some starting point.
And, if you want to find your prupose, there is a good article on how to find one on Steve Pavlinas site, look for it and youll find it, i wish you good luck on your journey, dont give up, your situation is just a personal perception, thats not important, the important thing is the way in wich you decide to act upon it.