Rockchick, today at my workout I was remembering a time I went to see two of the biggest jazz acts in "The Wave" genre -- what would now be called easy jazz or something. I was always reluctant to take anyone to hear the music I was really into because I didn't want to hear them yammering away while I was focusing on the music, so I would go by myself to these shows. Guys tend to play "for" women who show up alone and are clearly interested in the music as opposed to meeting men; ironically, I would usually get asked out by the musicians.
This particular night, three of the guys, 2 from one band and the very well-known sax player from the other, all asked for my phone number -- at one point, all three gentlemen joined me at my table. I was so shy, but I focused on listening generously.
Anyway, one guy was interesting, but he was so famous and looking more for a groupie-type interaction -- he called but we never went out. The second one (the sax player in the other band) I was so attracted to, and we did end up going out several times, but he was christian so that didn't work out. The third guy was so cute, and so into me, and we became friendly and had a few non-romantic dates, but I was too busy chasing after Mr. Savingitformarriage.
Okay, cut ahead 20 years.
I had just broken up with my recovering heroin addict rockstar love of my life boyfriend (!) and one of our mutual friends invited me to hear him play at the Baked Potato. His sideman on sax was the famous sax guy from 20 years before. Unbelievably, he remembered that night, and asked me out -- and we ended up dating for around six months (he is a great guy, but the chemistry just never completely clicked). In those six months, I helped him regain kilter after a bad divorce, and he helped me through my mom's illness and death, along with my own bad breakup. It was great. After Mr. Sax and I stopped seeing each other, I went on eHarmony and was matched to one of my favorite studio guitarists, and as it turned out, he was the best friend of Mr. Just Friends Guitarist from that night 20 years before. When I saw Mr. JFG, who had become quite successful in the interim, it was like no time had passed at all, except he had grown much more gorgeous (and been long married.) My eHarmony match didn't pan out.
A similar thing had happened with Mr. Recovering Heroin Addict -- I was a big fan of his when I was 18, and ended up meeting him and beginning my 3-year debacle at age 35. Time is funny. Well, after one more foray into romance with yet another musician (he won a grammy this year!) -- no wait, there was also the guy that played with Frank Zappa, but he was 30 years older than me -- I swore off musicians for awhile and only because of that did I find Danger Man, who is enjoying the fruits of getting dragged around to hear all of the wonderful music I love and meeting all my marginally famous old beaux. He loves it.
The point of this saga? #1 -- go to shows alone. Musicians will approach you much more readily than if you're in a gaggle. #2 -- wait 20 years and see what happens. #3 -- try guys who are not musicians. There are some very good ones.
The End.