Quote:
Originally Posted by cylon  Because music is awesome Angela.
There's plenty of variety here in so-cal, a large mixture of all sorts of people. Actually the super hot spoiled chicks aren't very attractive, at least beyond physically, to me. There's someone for everyone. You just have to STOP MAKING EXCUSES ON WHY YOU CAN'T CHANGE your circumstances.
I think I post in this thread because it parallels my own experience, about making excuses, false obligations to other people, being overly picky. These are shields we erect when we are afraid of being hurt. When we're scared, we come up with reasons that make sense, maybe but they are really meaning "I AM AFRAID TO TAKE CHANCES AND LIVE MY LIFE ON MY OWN TERMS ".
So you want someone special in your life, you are afraid to get it. You know you need an excuse to not get it other than fear, so here comes your nephew, what your Dad said, most men that like you are sleezy. There. Now you have real legitimate reasons to avoid intimacy and being close to someone else that sound better than the real one, which is that you probably have very low self-esteem and the idea of being close to someone and living your life to the fullest in other areas terrifies you because you don't think you are good enough, and this cycle will repeat forever unless you do something about it, be introspective and stop making excuses about how things "outside" of you are influencing your decisions.
Not to be too harsh on you but you're afraid to live. I know the feeling. You have to change it. You get one life. |
I am not saying you are wrong,i'm just saying that i dont understand how i can CRAVE something so much yet be afraid of it. I've BEEN in a serious relationship before. I've dated probably 10 guys other than him. I've had male best friends that i've tried to get closer to. And when i think about what i would do if i had more money,the first thing that comes to mind is going to music school and moving because then i would have money to fly back here every month to see my family. I can admit that i'm afraid of not seeing them very often,i can admit that i'm scared to quit my job and work for minimum wage again,i can admit that i have no skills in anything as far as other types of jobs go,so if i can admit these things why wouldn't i admit i'm afraid of intimacy? I am REALLY afraid of not being important in my nephews life,i want to be like a 2nd mom to him,and how can i do that if i'm living 1000 miles away with no money to come see him? How is that not a real fear?