There are some smart people here! Petals, be positive. Be happy. Enjoy life absolutely as much as you can every moment. You cannot and should not force a change in your husband. It will almost certainly fail. Even if it seems to work, the odds are that it will be forced and there will be resentment behind it. There is no manipulative way that works. Turning and walking out of the room probably isn't the right solution. Ignoring him isn't right, either.
You should be an absolute light in his life. Make him see that the world is not so dark. That not everybody here is that cold and scheming. Be the sun on a cold day, the cool breeze when it is oppressively hot, the water in a desert. Accept your husband as he is and aspire to be the person you seem to want to be. Your world can be absolutely positive. And you can give him the immeasurable gift of sharing your positive world with him. He can share his world with you. There is strength in understanding both. My favorite couple in the world has a wife who bubbles positivity and a husband who sees conspiracies and greed everywhere. They work so well together because he lets her lift him up and she lets him ground her. Their views conflict, at times, but they work so well because they both accept the other.
At one point in my life, I was all negativity, pessimism, and depression. Two girlfriends modeled happiness, joy, and life for me. I kept wondering how they could be so happy and bright in such a dark world. Out of curiosity, I started trying to be happy... and it worked. They both put up with all kinds of misery coming from my mouth and reminded me of how good the world could be. The key was that they didn't judge or try to change me, but just lived their happy life and showed me the bright world they saw.
You need to accept your husband, absolutely and completely. Accept that he sees a different world than you. Both of your views are equally valid. Work to understand his, and to show him yours.  |