Hi friend,
I think I can relate to what you are saying.I have also wondered at times , what being in love with yourself is , how to do it, what does that state of being exactly feels like I never knew . I appreciate what people have suggested about loving yourself , but it sounds exactly like it is in the books, but how to do it is a topic not discussed much.
From my experiences I would like to suggest a few things.
To make any change you got to keep a manual which you need to follow like the Bible, I suggest you read The seven habits of highly effective people and follow it like a manual.
1st Goal should be - Become Independent.What does that mean that also means loving yourself? How to do it ?
To do it you have to consider yourself as two persons, a parent and a child.
If someone comes and abuses your child you got to protect him from feeling outrightly bad, judge the complaints and if necessary help him to slowly improve on his weakness.If someone tries to give flattering comments to your child , you need to keep him grounded, as you know they are of no good. As a parent you got to give some time to your child to hear his event of the day and all the good things he did. You also got to tell him good and motivating stories all the time to keep him motivated to keep trying harder to be a good human later in life.Be his friend and guide. Now doesn't that sound like a loving relationship between the two people within you , the parent and the child, the child is the conscious mind , the parent is the super conscious mind, when we can bridge a relationship between them an unending stream of love flows from the universe to us and it feels great
.
2nd goal is InterDependence - can come only after independence when others will love you. It is something like when you are in the light the world follows , when you are in the dark even your shadow doesn't follow you.
Now some things that needs to be done with Goal 1 are as follows:
You need to find out what makes you feel successful ?
Do you feel successful because your being in this world has made the life of at least one person on this planet easier.Is it because of that everyone around you bestows upon you the honor for your services of your life.
Or you feel successful because you feel yourself to be superior to others ?
If the second is true you are in a dangerous territory( I am saying this coz you said I feel I have got more to offer as a girlfriend than most girls,which makes me feel the following steps will be helpful for you).
Develop a sense that all other humans are as vulnerable as you , they also feel happy , sad, anger , shy, nervous , alone and , the need to be loved like you , in fact they are all a part of you. Every morning close your eyes for 5 minutes and see a network with which you connect to them all your friends, relatives, colleauges, as you breath in you take all their love in individually , you should see their face smiling, you breath out and give them your love .
feel equal to others.
Try to smile all through the day.
Never talk bad of others behind their back. find good things in others all the time. Make it an objective to find always the goodness of every human you meet and know and ignore anything else.
Keep away from any arguments or debates.Please don't do it. Resist the urge to argue over anything.
And finally add humor to your life. read a lot of jokes to yourself. Collect a lot of jokes. Tell a lot of jokes to others and enjoy yourself.
All steps i noted for you , if you follow to the word I bet will bring you a lot of happiness.
Lets do it together
Cheers
Biraj B Choudhury