[m18pak]

aj215, what you have to realize is that you can't change your life without changing yourself. The reason you are stuck in the situation you're in now is because you keep doing the same things, and you keep doing the same things because you simply don't know any better. It's like the saying that if people knew better they would do better. You are doing the best that you can, given your current level of consciousness and understanding of the world.

So from here two things can happen. You'll either refuse to change yourself and your way of thinking and keep sinking down until eventually you hit some crisis so dramatic that you are finally shocked into accepting that you can no longer continue as you have been doing, or you'll accept that you can no longer keep doing what you've always done and expect different results, and you'll ask for a higher understanding of the situation.

Understanding is the key. You want to change your situation, but you don't know how or else you would have done it already. How can you make a positive change when you don't know how you can do it? You can't - it's not possible.

This is where most people stumble. People are as a rule notoriously stubborn to surrender their beliefs and worldviews, even when refusing to do so leads to stagnation and possibly even death. You have already taken a vital step by posting on here. Your action shows that you are at least ready to consider that you might be doing something wrong - most people never even get this far and just spend their time blaming anyone and everyone else for their own mistakes - so for that you deserve to be congratulated.

So all you need to do now is to sincerely ask for and be willing to listen to a higher understanding of the situation. If you could see your problems from a higher, more enlightened perspective then you'll be able to take better actions. Don't worry about asking specific people or whatever; all you need to do is to adopt the attitude that you are now willing to be taught a better way of looking at the situation, a higher understanding of life.

When the student is ready the student will appear: it is a fact of life. Please don't try to logically analyze or question this - just do it. Realize that what you are currently doing is not creating the results that you want, and ask for a higher understanding so that you will know what to do to get what you want.

In life we can only move forward by consciously choosing to learn and grow.

I realize that this might sound all a little abstract and overly philosophical, so if you don't really get what I'm saying all you need to remember is this:

1. You realize that you are not getting what you want.
2. You realize that it's because of the way you act right now.
3. You accept that you act the way you do because of the current level of understanding that you have, your worldview.
4. You become willing to let go of your incomplete understanding and to reach for a higher, more complete understanding. You don't do what the majority, which is to always insist that they are always right.

I hope this helps and good luck.