It might not seem natural to you to arrange your day around an employer's schedule, and give up some of your freedom to do things their way. But maybe I can give you an analogy that would help you realize it's not the big deal you think it is.
When you need to take a dump, do you just let loose in your pants when the urge strikes you, or do you find a toilet? I thought so.
When you were newborn, though, I'll bet you let loose whenever the urge struck you. What could be more natural? But at some point, probably before you were 4, someone persuaded you to rethink that and to hold it until the appropriate time and place. At first that seemed unnatural, and maybe even a pain in the ass -- but guess what? After some 16 years or so that unreasonable, unnatural thing that mommy asked you to do -- control your bowels -- is now something you don't even give a second thought to. In fact, if you were to mess your pants, THAT would seem unnatural to you, and you would be rather distressed about it.
It's all a matter of perspective. It is no more "reasonable" to get up when you'd rather sleep, to do uninteresting work for less pay than you could wish for, and to pay your taxes than it is to not sh_t your pants. So what? There's no one here that didn't start out in an unglamorous job. The thing is, the way you eventually find interesting and rewarding work is to start with whatever presents itself. You don't wait for it to fall from the sky.
You gave up the freedom to poop at random in exchange for not being confined to a ward someplace where people don't have to be disgusted by you. You give up the freedom to sleep and goof off at random in order to provide for yourself. There is nothing wrong with pooping, sleeping, or goofing off ... it's just that the pleasure goes out of them when you do them all the time. Sleep is sweet and goofing off is joyful when they're earned. They're boring and unsatisfying when ... shall we say ... un-punctuated.
Get over the idea that it's evil for anyone to ask anything of you and give the idea of service a 90 day trial. Care about people and offer them your best out of love. You will like it. Honest. Not only will it not kill you, it has a crazy way of enriching you and making you happy. I'm willing to bet you don't remember the last time you enjoyed a sense of accomplishment. Maybe you never have. It's never too late to start.
--Bob  |