How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change first.
I would say something like {aspiring_to_clarity} said. Listen with being curious about what he is really saying. Reflective listen - echo back what he says when you see it as negative. Not verbatim. Just as a way to get him to kind of listen to himself some. He might not realize what he sounds like.
Maybe you could ask him what it feels like to be that way, out of curiosity. Or "how is that working for you?"
Almost a case of "if you can't beat him, join him". You can't beat him (make him change) but you can join him. But not in the sense of turning into him and being the way he his but in the sense of letting his words be heard through you back at him. That will give you something to do instead of judging his negativity and having reactions. And also give him a chance to hear himself so that he may step back and wonder if he wants to be that way.
You can also try to exaggerate what he says. That could point out the absurdity of what he says. Like, you know maybe you are right and so and so is probably on their way over now to set the record straight. maybe something like this. I just know sometimes if someone is negative and they encounter someone that agrees with them or even pretends to - the negative person sometimes get a 180 feeling. Like, "woah I was expecting you to argue back and I don't really think that way, I just like the drama of you getting upset at me."  |