The OP shares comments that I could have said at one time, also.
My hubby of 32 years is amazing, and has revealed layers I never imagined. I began to notice them after I stopped focusing on the stuff he did that I disliked, and really focused on the attitudes and actions I love.
He and I can misunderstand each other, but when we stop and really work at listening to each other, we learn amazing things. At a certain point, maybe 10 years ago, I intentionally stopped complaining and instead, began to describe him as being like a fine wine that improves with age, and that he keeps surprising me with new nuances I never knew he had. He lives up to that consistently. I have learned to practice the expectation of seeing all of the best elements of his character.
That saying, "Be the change you want to see" applies here. Why be critical of another being critical, even if you are quiet while he is profane?
Jennihul, I liked your state changing ideas. A silly song is good. One day I decided to say "I love you" every time I really wanted to criticize. After I said this to my husband about 6 times in a short period, I had to explain why I was doing it, so it broke the spell, but we got a good laugh, and it did make our mood happier as a result.
We can change anything at all in our world by adjusting our perception, or our actions. IMHO, anyway.
Have fun
Joy