Quote:
Originally Posted by Chado2423  But this is the thing that is bothering me the most. All I ever wanted to do is be a better friend to her. |
It really doesn't matter what you wanted. It's an illusion that life gives you a free pass because you meant well or earnestly desired something (even something "good"). "All I ever wanted" is just a nice way of saying, "I want what I want when I want it and when I don't get it I am going to pitch one hell of a fit, because my desires are all pure as the driven snow, ennobled and ennobling, and anything or anyone that thwarts them is unjust."
When your ex rejected your apology, that was information to guide you in your thinking. Your ex is not a puppet in your personal Hollywood drama. She isn't going to react according to your script. Now -- maybe the primary thing is that she's immature, troubled, or just plain crazy. That is one possibility. Another, more likely primary take-away from this is that however you approached the relationship didn't work -- so you need to do the work to figure out what went wrong
so you can do much better on the next relationship.
You're hung up on the idea that your ex is the one and only person you can ever have a relationship with and the world has to come to an end because this one didn't work. Isn't it smarter to do a post-mortem on an obviously dead relationship so you can figure out how not to kill the next one??
Life is messy and difficult. This is one of the great truths. Whining that it's not supposed to be that way doesn't help. Life is what it is. Improving your life skills, developing your character and dealing in reality is what helps.
--Bob