[Nneka]

because i realised that what i've thought of as closed minded people are really just mirrors for my own closed-mindedness.

ReallyGoodIdeas, this is so true. In the end, what I observe in other people is all stuff that I am dealing with. At the time that it is presented, I have a great opportunity to heal something within me or shift my perspective and let more of my light shine.

I don't care as much for the "you're right" line, since it seems more of an attempt to defuse situations and shut people down, than it does a recognition that they really are right from YOUR OWN perspective too (otherwise you're still being close minded.) This could also be true of the "you could be right line." You should be striving to clarify and improve your mind, not just looking for gimmicks.

Stephen, the way I look at is that the person is truly right. They have their own experiences from which they are drawing their conclusions. When I realize that their resistance is something I am dealing with, AND I am willing to chip away that resistance in myself, I listen intently to what they are saying and ask leading questions until I have recognized in myself the thing that I am resisting.

For example, I believe strongly that we create our reality. For a long time, I believed it at an intellectual level. When I would get into heated discussions with people over this topic I could not understand why they were so against it. The argument would invariably come back to people who were homeless because they lost their jobs and their lives spiral.

One day I was having one of these discussions, but instead of fighting it I listened. I realized that that was a countering belief that I held. I just kept listening and it just washed away. I said to my friend, "You are right. That has been your experience." I genuinely meant it.

I didn't adopt their opinion. On the contrary, it strengthened my own belief because I was able to deal with one of my internal barriers to accepting that belief at a deeper level.

Does that make sense?