Hi Jamie.
That's a pickle of a situation you and your sister are in. It's hard to imagine what that would be like.
What Erin said is spot on, I just would like to reemphasise it in another way.
Firstly: You can't do anything to help her. Nothing at all. Zero, zip, nada, nothing. By that I mean anything you
DO just helps her stay exactly where she is. Any progress in her life will also be slowly undone because in the long term she's still the same person. The only way you can improve her life is to get her to see her life in a new way.
For that you will need to use passive empathic listening as Erin suggested. Find out why she feels she's in her position. Find out why she's going out with such a terrible partner, from your point of view. There's a good chance that she sees him as the greatest person she can be with now, or that she's trapped and can't get out. Just get into her world and find out what's really going on for her. Don't offer any suggestions, help, advice, opinions or assistance unless she directly and specifically asks for it. Just give your empathy, compassion and listening. Support her and help her open up, and guide her towards the truth. She needs to discover it for herself. Your job will be to lead her there, not tell her directly. Frankly it's because you don't know the truth either, and you don't know her personal truths. It's only through our own discovery that we each have a chance of finding the truth. When she sees her own truth for herself, she will know what to do and will ask for help if needed.
I know it sounds like I'm telling you what to do, but if you want your sister to be the best person she can be, you have to stop helping her, and support her instead. Show her the way out of the darkness and into the light by guiding her with your love, not your judgement.
