Heya Rockchick, just me again.
Thanks for the response, and everyone elses too, this is a great discussion.
I just wanted to expand apon this one point in relation to what other people have replied with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parthon  You've done all the steps and thought all the thoughts, but it still hasn't given you the outcome, which means something is blocking you. Much like pushing on a door that says pull will not open it no matter how hard you try, desiring something greatly will not work unless you are matching that desire. |
It's not about changing yourself, but finding the power within you that will let you get the kind of results you are after. The reality of the situation is that you want a particular outcome, and it's not happening. Most people would believe the next step is to find out why you are stopped, when in fact you don't need to know. The only next step is finding out and taking the actions required to get the outcome.
I see what you mean by "why do i have to change all this stuff about me when nobody else has to change to get what they want". They don't have to change because they got it, but even that doesn't help the "why them, but not me" question. The only answer for that question is "You are not them." It comes down to what you personally can do yourself to have the life you want. Personal power and achievement of goals go hand in hand, and with changing yourself being the basis for personal power, it's not a suprise almost everyone in this topic has suggested it.
For years I didn't want to change, pretty much though I couldn't or when I could refused to. It was when I realised that only through changing myself would my world itself change that I got real power in my life. Almost overnight I lost 10kgs, met lots of new people and started feeling good about my life. I push change of self so much because it really is the key to having a better life. That is all.
This is the article which gave me the most insight into myself and my own relationships:
The secret to finding your ideal partner
As an aside, the questions I want to ask is: Why do you want to find out why you attracted this sleezy guy? and Why don't you want to change?