 Get some Valium
IMHO, you are too anxious for affirmations to work. When the night terrors are effecting you badly, and you can't sleep or you wake up after an hour in a sweat and don't go back to sleep, you need a little short-term relief from the stress.
Do you have someone you care about and who cares about you that you could stay with, or who would like to stay with you? This is a time when you need a support system.
You also need to swear off your ex, and do not call or write or have any contact whatsoever. That relationship is over for her, and you need to honor that.
Finally, you need to make yourself the number one priority in your life, if you can. I recommend you work out, hard, an hour each day. Get the valium to help relax you, and only take one each night for sleeping -- hopefully you won't need it in a couple of months. Do things that make you feel better -- see movies, work out, cook and eat great nutritious food, play soccer or football or tennis, or swim, or walk, keep a journel; do those things that make you feel even the tiniest bit better. Do not drink to excess; be careful to take care of your self, even if you don't feel like it.
Get some books on help with abandonment, and love obsession; books that might help you be compassionate towards yourself in this painful time.
There is nothing wrong with you, and your feelings are not that unusual. You are hurting badly; and you need to take care of yourself through this, love yourself and support yourself through this.
I'll keep you in my prayers -- Many blessings from Belle  |