[Gene]

On Death Row In Illinois

The man in the cell is young and yet old at thirty. He waits as the final hours pass. His execution has been scheduled and that time is now less than twenty four hours away.

He is just less than six feet tall with a thin face and piercing blue eyes; his sandy brown hair and his wry smile are memorable. His features might suggest that he spent most of his life outdoors before he was thrust into a cage to await death.

He has been a farmer then a soldier in France a veteran of Omaha Beach and six other major battles in Europe. He received the battle stars and other decorations for gallantry in action in recognition of his service to his nation. After the war he became a farmer again because to work hard at farming and to own his own land has been his dream for as long as he can remember.

He has seen men die before, the months in combat introduced him to the gruesome details of the many ways a man can die, so death is no stranger to him He has seen me die often in the last few years. It is different this time. It has been scheduled and the death warrant has been signed by the governor of the State of Illinois.

He has told his family and friends that he is innocent of the murder he has been convicted of and for which he has been sentenced to die. He has also informed his family that they should stay home and not come to the prison for the execution. “I don’t want you to see that last little bit of my life and remember me that way and I don’t want you to suffer through those last moments."

He waits. He tells the priest, “No one will see me cry and I will not show fear.” As he waits his father arrives and tells him that he could not stay away and let him die alone. His father tells him “I love you and I believe in you.” And “When you take that last walk I will watch so you will not be alone.”

As more time passes the prisoner composes his last statement. “Mom and Dad and little Gene I am innocent and I love you!”

He waits.



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As you may or may not have guessed by now this is not an attempt at fiction. It is actual history of my family. The man on death row was my father and the man who could not let his son die alone was my grandfather. In his final statement I am “little Gene.”

With less than twenty four hours before the death warrant is to be carried out, the Illinois Supreme Court issued a stay of execution. In this decision it states there is not enough evidence to charge him or convict him and he may not be retried without new and substantial evidence. He is never retried.

The person he was convicted of murdering was my mother. I was five months old when she died. I was three years old when my father was released from death row.

That was not the end it is the beginning.

You may ask why I write about this and my answer is that I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I guess I am going back to some of my early relationship experiences.

Those events were important in shaping the man I have become. As a result of these events I had lots of opportunities for growth. Sometimes it sucked, but I am happy with the man I am today and this history is in part what made me, “Me.”

Thank you for listening.

Gene