KittyG,
I hate to bring this off topic but I disagree with what you say. What if someone has forgiven people who've done them wrong and are alright? What benefit is there to diving into the past and bringing up painful experiences?
Now, I understand that if someone is just saying these things and hasn't moved past them, then yes, looking into them could be hugely helpful.
Quote:
Please don't listen to the people who say, "Just decide to be happy" or "Don't put your energy into the past"
It is unsympathetic, insensitive,disconnected advice and without putting energy into the past in a professional environment
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Just decide to be happy can be very helpful advice, and very profound if you're open to it. Often times it's the intent behind it or the reaction to it which needs to be addressed. If people are making their happiness, or confidence, or sense of validation, etc. on external factors the next question is "how can I just be happy?" but it does have a powerful benefit.
I struggled with this for quite some time. I kept looking to something or someone else that I needed, and then I could start to be my ideal self and live my ideal life. When I changed my focus to being happy with what I've got and who's in my life, I felt a lot better.
People also have a tendency to overcomplicate things, and we often reject things because they seem to simple. But often times it's the simple advice/action that really will deliver the most benefit if people are open to it.
My parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. I could spend my time being angry with them for not being what I think parents should be, or I could accept this and take responsibility for everything I am and do.
Thanks,
Colm