Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - When a life crisis hits, what should you do?

LifeCrisisGuy · 02-24-2008, 10:50 AM

Hi all,

I really appreciate all the good comments on my article so far. I learn a lot from you guys. After reading your comments, I have a few things to say.

1) For sure, no single article can cover all crises in life, given the limited time a reader has. Different crises need different approaches / solutions, and surely duration of each crisis is different. Probably, each life crisis may need a book to talk about. I'm sure there are books specifically covering a particular crisis or a category.

2) In the article or blog post, I was speaking from my own experience - a career crisis I fell into a few months ago. So, the kind of crisis I was feeling is different from those whose life was turned upside down, as you said.

3) I understand that sometimes the mind and heart do not work in syn when it comes to a real crisis like a trauma or loss of a very loved one. The mind may be rational but the heart is not willing (e.g. to let go). The mind may tell the heart to do/accept what the heart refuses to accept/do or simply can't accept/do or does not want to accept/do. Or, vice versa. If that's the case, I would say the crisis is really a tricky one to deal with. Probably, no one psychiatrist or professionals in the field could help, except the "sufferer" himself or herself. Because, sometimes, in some cases in life, only the "sufferer" or victim can "save" himself/herself. No one could.

4) Of course, in some cases, if drug can help alleviate the situation and heal the person, then use it. But, to me, drug is only temporary cure and may have side effects. If drug or psychiatrist cannot help, I don't know what else will do. I'm not in the field so I don't know. I doubt even if someone so professional is in the field, he/she may not know what else to do also. This is really painful a crisis is - a mental crisis! Yes, it may take years or forever to heal. Maybe. But, if we're talking about mental crisis, I guess that really belongs to a totally different topic that is beyond a lay person's ability to even talk about.

5) However, no matter what "life crisis" it is, as long as it's not mental crisis or national economic crisis or crises like that, it's all boiled down to what the person wants to do with his life. Here, I'm talking about crises that are still within our control. e.g. a marriage crisis, career crisis, or even a loss of a loved one. Crises that we can make conscious choices to rectify our situation. Not the kind of crises that even doctors or the ones we would entrust my life or death to, find themselves useless, powerless, ...etc. In that case, we really need a supernatural power to intervene. A miracle!

6) As I said in my conclusion, "If there is a tree, there will be fruits or flowers. If there is a plus, there must be a minus. If there is a lock, there must be a key. If there is life, there will be death also. By the same token, if there is happiness in life, there must be sadness also. If there is success, there will be failure, too! Without the other, how would we know which is what we should pursue in life?" What do we think life is? Is life supposed of all happiness, all good luck, all goooooood gooooood things? Should life be composed of life itself and death? Happiness and sadness? What makes us think that life should not have tears, heartbrokenness, ... etc.? What is life? Life on earth is different from life in heavens. Is there a heaven(s) ? If there is an earth like we now live in, should there be a heaven also? If there is evil, shouldn't there be good also? If there is devil, if we believe, should be there God? Can an atom be an atom if it has only electrons or protons as we know it? Doesn't it have both electrons and protons to make it an atom? ... etc. Let's not get into being too much metaphysical. ... Get back to life. If there is life, there should be death also. If we can accept death or things that ultimately lead to it, I believe we will have a very different attitude toward things that happen in our life. ... and that will change the way we live our life ... etc.... etc.

7) After all, a crisis is really a transition. A transition from one level to another, from one end to another, from good to bad, from bad to good... yes, it may not end or complete soon. It may take months or years or even forever (??) I will try to modify what I said in the article. :-)

This is a very good conversation I have, considering I am new to this forum.

I will welcome continued exchange of ideas like this.

02-24-2008, 10:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
LifeCrisisGuy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 15	Hi all, I really appreciate all the good comments on my article so far. I learn a lot from you guys. After reading your comments, I have a few things to say. 1) For sure, no single article can cover all crises in life, given the limited time a reader has. Different crises need different approaches / solutions, and surely duration of each crisis is different. Probably, each life crisis may need a book to talk about. I'm sure there are books specifically covering a particular crisis or a category. 2) In the article or blog post, I was speaking from my own experience - a career crisis I fell into a few months ago. So, the kind of crisis I was feeling is different from those whose life was turned upside down, as you said. 3) I understand that sometimes the mind and heart do not work in syn when it comes to a real crisis like a trauma or loss of a very loved one. The mind may be rational but the heart is not willing (e.g. to let go). The mind may tell the heart to do/accept what the heart refuses to accept/do or simply can't accept/do or does not want to accept/do. Or, vice versa. If that's the case, I would say the crisis is really a tricky one to deal with. Probably, no one psychiatrist or professionals in the field could help, except the "sufferer" himself or herself. Because, sometimes, in some cases in life, only the "sufferer" or victim can "save" himself/herself. No one could. 4) Of course, in some cases, if drug can help alleviate the situation and heal the person, then use it. But, to me, drug is only temporary cure and may have side effects. If drug or psychiatrist cannot help, I don't know what else will do. I'm not in the field so I don't know. I doubt even if someone so professional is in the field, he/she may not know what else to do also. This is really painful a crisis is - a mental crisis! Yes, it may take years or forever to heal. Maybe. But, if we're talking about mental crisis, I guess that really belongs to a totally different topic that is beyond a lay person's ability to even talk about. 5) However, no matter what "life crisis" it is, as long as it's not mental crisis or national economic crisis or crises like that, it's all boiled down to what the person wants to do with his life. Here, I'm talking about crises that are still within our control. e.g. a marriage crisis, career crisis, or even a loss of a loved one. Crises that we can make conscious choices to rectify our situation. Not the kind of crises that even doctors or the ones we would entrust my life or death to, find themselves useless, powerless, ...etc. In that case, we really need a supernatural power to intervene. A miracle! 6) As I said in my conclusion, "If there is a tree, there will be fruits or flowers. If there is a plus, there must be a minus. If there is a lock, there must be a key. If there is life, there will be death also. By the same token, if there is happiness in life, there must be sadness also. If there is success, there will be failure, too! Without the other, how would we know which is what we should pursue in life?" What do we think life is? Is life supposed of all happiness, all good luck, all goooooood gooooood things? Should life be composed of life itself and death? Happiness and sadness? What makes us think that life should not have tears, heartbrokenness, ... etc.? What is life? Life on earth is different from life in heavens. Is there a heaven(s) ? If there is an earth like we now live in, should there be a heaven also? If there is evil, shouldn't there be good also? If there is devil, if we believe, should be there God? Can an atom be an atom if it has only electrons or protons as we know it? Doesn't it have both electrons and protons to make it an atom? ... etc. Let's not get into being too much metaphysical. ... Get back to life. If there is life, there should be death also. If we can accept death or things that ultimately lead to it, I believe we will have a very different attitude toward things that happen in our life. ... and that will change the way we live our life ... etc.... etc. 7) After all, a crisis is really a transition. A transition from one level to another, from one end to another, from good to bad, from bad to good... yes, it may not end or complete soon. It may take months or years or even forever (??) I will try to modify what I said in the article. :-) This is a very good conversation I have, considering I am new to this forum. I will welcome continued exchange of ideas like this.