[Michelle]

Ï fully agree with Angela.

If you watch Oprah you know that Chris Rock has been a guest. His comedy takes place in adult only zones and often has the intention of drawing attention to race or political issues in the United States. His wife is a humanitarian and he supports her in her work. He's a funny guy no doubt, but I would closely monitor any contact a guy like Chris Rock might have with my children until sure of his behavior.

I used to say the same thing, by the way. Except it wasn't my husband mistreating me - it was my parents - and a lot of it was emotional in nature.

Screaming and yelling, name calling (directed at me and others), intimidation of someone smaller and unable to defend themselves, threatening, fear tactics, loneliness, lack of respect, hate, lies, inappropriate exposure to violence and pornography, brushing aside and joking about my tears and pain and that of others ... and more. All this was part of my daily life for many years and for a long time I told people "nah, it wasn't so bad". It wasn't so bad because my soul and heart and body were completely closed off to any feeling. I simply couldn't see it for how bad it was, because it was scary and painful to do so.

Make no mistake, someone who shocks you out of calmness by yelling and screaming obscenities at other people on a regular basis has a problem. It IS abuse. There doesn't have to be hitting for there to be abuse (Oprah also said this, remember?) and it doesn't have to occur everyday for it to be abuse.

You need to take yourself seriously. You need to take what your children are being exposed to seriously. It will leave a big fat mark, even if that may not be visible today and there is no way of telling how your children will react. Perhaps they will grow up to be abusers, perhaps they will let themselves be abused, perhaps they will simply cut off all contact to you and your husband for the pain he inflicted while you sat by and watched. You think I am exaggerating? Guess you'll find out, won't you?