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He's always making fun of other people, criticizing people he doesn't agree with, calling them names, or getting all worked up over people that "can't drive". Don't get me wrong, he's otherwise a wonderful person.
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I've seen that pattern a few times here. "My husband always behaves abusively, but really, it's not that big of a deal, not really
always, he's just conversational about his abuse, not yelling -- you guys are jumping to the worst conclusions!"
Listen, Mom2boys, I'm not judging your husband. Everybody's got their choices to make, and some of his irritate you and some of yours irritate him. My previous advice for you still stands -- if you tolerate abusive behavior, if you sit back and allow your kids to be raised in an atmosphere where cursing other people out, calling them names, criticizing, demeaning and belittling people, is standard practice by the most trusted adults, you are 100% responsible for that. You can be fairly sure your boys will grow up tolerating that behavior, too. Or perpetrating it.
Your husband is 100% responsible, too, of course. He's not here, though. You are. You want him to change his behavior and be on your more spiritual path. Why should he he change? He lives with someone who tolerates his behavior exactly as it is -- someone who actually justifies it for him!
If someone close to me, like Chris Rock, was generating a space where verbal abuse was just the way it is sometimes, really other than that he's a great guy, I would not rely on hope and prayer as a means of achieving mastery.
I do sort of like the image of Erin married to Chris Rock, though. That might make a good sit-com. "The Medium and The Mo-Fo."
( Accepting and tolerating are two entirely different animals, by the way. )