Thanks for saying that, Muah. I'd like you to go back and read your posts in this thread as if you were me, and see if you can see what I'm saying about being repelling, if you would. What I mean is, each time I (or others) respond to you, it feels to me like you are putting up a shield between us. I get the feeling you are sort of hardened in your conviction that you are not good-looking, and that you are not willing to entertain the notion that attractiveness, or sexiness, is not the same thing necessarily as conventional good looks.
It feels frustrating to me, because there's no way I can prove that to you, and there's no way I could prove it to my Younger Self if I could magically meet her. I think I am so committed to getting you to see your own beauty mostly because I'm also experiencing communication with my past self -- oh, how I wish I had had this realization when I was younger (I was not conventionally beautiful, and I thought that was the only kind of beauty that counted -- especially living in Los Angeles, you can imagine!)
So much needless pain, so much blindness to what was in front of me, so much repelling I did! Plenty of great guys I repelled -- I just made it impossible for them to get really close, because I didn't want them to discover my "ugliness." Big sigh. If I could, I would wrap her in my arms and comfort her, and then I'd knock her hard skull against the wall. I want to do the same thing to you.
It may be some time before you are able to open your eyes to the beauty, the attractiveness, the sexiness that is you, and are then able to let others in on that treasure. And when that happens, I hope you remember the conversation you and I and the others here are having, and I hope you set yourself free. I wish I could do it for you. Mwahh!  |