Wow, you all are amazing. Funny... way back my friends said very similar things about my ex when she would do stupid sh*& that would hurt me. I always chalked it up to her being intelligent and having no common sense. Really would like to help her though, certainly not at the expense of my wife, children, and family in general though. I've prided myself on my character when it comes to my relationships, can honestly say I've never cheated on even my GF's, unlike my wife (but that was years ago, and probably related to all the crap that happened to her as a child) Man, do I just make to many excesses? Anyway, I'm not perfect, just trying to exhibit a higher standard. This is particularly why my situation is VERY difficult. So..
It's probably a problem in myself. Some of the comments I believe have correctly pointed out mundaneness in my life. This could just be the check engine light going off on my dash (read... midlife crisis imminent! Take cover
), who knows. Probably why I joined the Army again. Thanks again for all the thoughtful replies, wealth of knowledge here, wish there were resources like this when I was in my 20's
! Fire away if you can help with my incongruent feelings. Not easy to deal with internal conflict... it's like white noise you can't turn off.