Quote:
Originally Posted by konmai  But I couldn't handle it & pretty much threw my life away. It was an obstacle, & I fell really bad. Sometimes I attempt to pick myself back up, & I haven't been able to pick myself up completely on this one.
My only feel good is that I volunteer.
I don't what to do. Where to start to improve myself. |
Don't worry, you're not alone.
I grew up with terrible self esteem in high school. Several people made fun of me on a regular basis, so I taught myself to avoid people all together. And this only made me focus more on how much I hated myself and my life.
After I graduated HS, I spent my whole summer drinking and pretending to have fun with people weren't even my friends, but they seemed cool so I didn't care.
My life going nowhere but down the drain. I drank all the time, and had no goals. It eventually landed me in jail from driving drunk, going 55mph in a 35 zone, running red lights, then trying to outsmart the cops by fleeing down side streets.
I hit rock bottom. I owed thousands of dollars in fines, and felt like the biggest waste of life on the planet. This all happened when I was 18.
From the DUI I had to do community service. I did mine at a rehabilitation center. There I met a man with his left leg severed at his knee. He always greeted me with a big smile as I wheeled him back to his room. So I enjoyed picking him up, and wheeling him around the building. Despite his physical condition, he had a good attitude. Something I seriously lacked.
Later I found out the man endured past events that would bring anyone to their knees pleading to God. Before I say what, I just want to let everyone know that it's not pretty, & I had have unconditional respect and love for this man.
One of the people I worked with at the rehab center told me the man's story. He and his wife had just divorced and the wife gained custody of the daughter. The man loved his daughter very much, and wanted custody over her because the wife had problems I believe.
Well, he eventually gained custody over the daughter. The day he gained custody he went to pick her up. On the drive back home, their car was hit by a drunk driver who was speeding. Tragically, the daughter didn't survive.
Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm not sure if I should post it, but I'm going to because I want to help you.
When I heard this man's story, I wanted to cry. I felt so much sympathy for him. And even more because I decided to drive drunk. "What if I hit someone?" went through my mind. I felt horrible inside knowing that could have been me who hit someone.
This man had the strength to somehow look forward, despite what he went through. I can't imagine the pain he went through, but I give him all my love and prayer's.
Here is a man who lost everything, and still has the courage to keep going. I can't express my feelings toward this whole experience through this keyboard, but you can imagine.
His strength & optimism inspired me to start over. I've since turned my life around. I don't drink. I don't party. I spend my time reading personal development books and embracing a positive attitude.
Life is a gift. There are more reasons to live then there are to quit. You have plenty to live for. Dare to dream, set goals, and stay positive. We're all incredibly lucky to be here.
I hope this helps. Keep your head up.