TT- You're probably right. She really wasn't my first love, but the only one I set my sights on, and fired for effect! Interestingly enough, all my friends at the time certainly felt I escaped, BUT, some of their problem was jealousy because none of their gf's gave them the attention my Ex did.
DL- I would squarely place myself in the class "A" personality. Have a handle on what pushes my buttons (good and bad) and what buttons are available.
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What sorts of feelings rushed back to you?
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Man, it's hard to say. That is one of the reasons for this thread. To say the least these feelings are forceful. Little more background...
I dated my Ex for more than 3yrs, was there when her family fell apart and her parents divorced, only left the hospital twice in her 14 day IC stay after almost dieing in a MVA coming to see me because see turned left to fuel her car that I left empty instead of turning right to my house. I staved off relentless sexual advances (read BLATANT) by her mother (OMG what 19yr wouldn't want that!!) citing that I was dating her daughter and in love with her!! ......
I've always seen so much in her. She is bright, intelligent, witty, lacking somewhat in the common sense area (makes for lots of laughs for me), dangerous, mysterious, etc. Her outer shell I swear is made from pure Titanium, but on the inside, that's where the good stuff is, just got to work to get there. One last thing, not to throw gas on the fire, but she is a f*&% monster! (generally twice daily!) Anyway, she did get her degree from GA Tech through much adversity, and now... she's greatly depressed.
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I bet if you get to know her better you'll realize that her own choices put her there.
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Well I'm certain of that, first mistake was telling her BF she wanted to date other people!
(man, see what I'm talking about, that's eat up isn't it.) Don't think I'm PW'd, it's just I'm use to being able to "fix" things, all kinds of stuff, physical, mental, relational, etc. (good at process analysis, except HERE) and I feel I've just been served! Like an impossible situation has been cast upon me, to test my constitution.
Just imagine all at once feeling anger, hurt, pain, despair, uncertainty (what have I let happen/done?), anxiety, etc. There really isn't anything wrong at my house either. Only thing that comes to mind is a bit of separation anxiety (I'm in the military, training away from home)
This probably would be worse if my Ex lived close (she doesn't)... Certainly physical separation will allow for pause on my part.
