Shazza,
Assertiveness can be a tricky thing, I have personally struggled with it also and I still am. The trouble is, mostly in cases as you explain, the come from un-expected people. But as "smartile" explaned in the above reply these attacks generally come because issues that these people have.
For myself, I have taken the phylosophie that "Smartile" is recommending of not taking things personally. Whenever an attack or comment comes at me I try to step back and detach myself from it, not take it personally and get an understanding as to why this person is so miserable.
With that said, I admit this is a challenge. If the comments come from your brother it could be difficult to detach yourself. And I'm not sure retoric sarcasm would help or simply escalate the problem.
Something that I have noticed which helps is writting. I will sit and write down the situation and then go through all the different arguments:
- Why would they say that?
- Why are they attacking me?
- Is it really me or circumstance?
- Are they right? Are there comment true?
- Is what they are saying true?
- How can I change this?
- How do I want to be treated?
By writting arguments for each of these and realizing that the issue is my self confidence and their way of dealing with their happiness, it makes it easier for me to simply speak back without getting emotional or overwhelmed.
Will it work for? Don't know, but it can't hurt to try...
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