Originally Posted by engendertruth
83. to live with courage so that I may conquer the personal demon that tells me that I should fear who I am and what I do, the demon that tells me I am nothing, the demon that holds me back
I am uncomfortable with how heavily your "personal demon" plays into your life purpose.
I would split yourself into these parts, and write a life purpose that engages all these parts:
1) Your 3 year old, the part of you that wants to feel real good right now, and cries when it cannot. Very much like any human 3 year old.
2) Your 6 year old, the part of you that fears letting other people down, and that tries to nag everyone and itself to follow numberless rules in an attempt to never let other people down. Very much like any human 6 year old.
3) Your higher self, something that is very much you, that has access to everything you know and feel, but is highly advanced and wildly successful in ways that appeal to you right now.
4) You, the thing that is very much you, but that has the responsibility to care for your 3 year old part and your 6 year old part.
5) Your personal demon, except I would recommend giving it a ridiculous name like "Oswald", "Poindexter", or "Maynard" or any silly name you choose. This is a hideous but small thing, about 2 feet high.
Paint your personal demon into a corner. Assign some negative feelings to the 3 year old (due to the natural limitations of a 3 year old), some feelings to the 6 year old (due to the natural limitations of a 6 year old), and use the personal demon for the very few negative feelings that are left. Abuse your personal demon mercilessly.
Now your life purpose is stated in components:
1) I care for my fearful 3 year old, let it know it will be protected, and will be comforted and cared for when it is impossible to fully protect it
2) I reassure my worried 6 year old, that it is very capable and will be unconditionally loved, especially when it fails
3) I draw courage, energy, and strategy from my higher self, and my higher self is always accessible to me.
4) I trust myself.
5) My personal demon, Maynard, who is a hideous and tiny thing, tells me lies about myself. I often pull the elastic of his underwear up from the back of his trousers, lift him off the ground from solely from the underwear elastic, and hand him up by it from a nail on the wall, so he dangles helplessly 4 feet off the ground. I punish Maynard so whenever he tries to hold me back.