I did another meditation - this time going up. Doing it was far more complicated than going down.
After walking up the last step, there was a door which opened to a huge vast area of space. There was no one there though. So I continued to walk up. Upon walking I met someone. The only way I can describe him is to say he was covered in hair like a yeti or something, but very kind and gentle. He knew me and loved me and I couldn't remember him. This made me cry. We hugged and I asked to be directed toward my higher self. There were stairs upon stairs to climb and when I got to the room she was sitting in the middle of it. She is perhaps the most amazing goddess I have ever seen. I felt that she was completely open, like a vessel and there was light shining out of her head and eyes and the rest of her body. She didn't tell me anything (like she doesn't talk ... which seems to make sense to me somehow) but wrote a sign that said "go". I went into the next room and met someone whom I assume is my spirit guide. He was gentle and kind (old and white) and told me I am doing just fine - no worries. I thanked him and moved into another room where I met my boyfriend's young brother who died last October - we exchanged hugs and love and promises to visit ... Then I tried to visit my angels but had no luck.
I asked everyone who I am without the monster but still don't really have an answer. But I do know these things can come after the effect, so I am not yet discouraged.
Thank you for guiding me here.
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