[Kryptik]

I know you all don't want to hear this again. But I have to let it out.

My life is going great right now, I have some good friends, no health issues, a new job (got hired today), you name it. I hate my life. I just can't find any joy out of anything right now. It's 11PM here, I'm not doing homework I would have done hours ago normally, I have my favorite class tomorrow but I don't wanna go... Search and Rescue Wednesday and all weekend and I'm really thinking of just skipping out (those that know me know that SAR is my favorite thing in life)

I just feel so alone. I try to change my mindset and it won't work. Haven't talked to any friends for weeks cause I feel like I'm just wasting their time so I've chased em away. I just can't stop eying the pills in the drawer or the knife in my room. It sounds morbid but I just can't stand life right now. I've always had trouble relating to people but it's never gotten this bad. I just don't want to live.

I'm really scaring myself here. I don't want to have to deal with this anymore. What can I do?!?!