I really need help! I have a problem with confrontation. Its not that I want to be violent or anything (!) I'd just like to be able to think on my feet and hit back at people who seem to want to put me down at every opportunity. The other night I was at a rugby match when I asked this bloke if he was in the queue for the tickets (he was pretty close- hence the question). He said no, and then added for good measure "does it look like it?" and laughed. Now I thought of a dozen things I could have, should have, would have said to him after, but at the time, I was completely lost for words - which trust me, in a non-confrontational situation is a very unusual thing for me! Why can't I hit back with those fantastic one-liners that make arrogant and rude people squirm as much as their one-liners hurt and embarass me? Why can't I stand up to people who make me feel inadequate and small? Why can't all those things I can easily think about afterwards come to me when I need them most?
Everytime I'm put on the spot about something I'm not really prepared for, I fold and my mind goes completly blank. Am I just a big woos, or a doormat, or too nice, or too shy? My own brother takes pleasure in telling me I have a fat arse,(which people say I don't have) or my hair's a mess, or that my opinons are "screwed up" - and I just laugh, and say nothing - can someone tell me how I can deal with people who actually hurt and embarass me without being a complete ♥♥♥♥♥- I reall hate to upset people, so prefer humour to angry reposts - so that I can stop looking like I'm the stupid one!!
I really need lessons in assertiveness!!!