Jaamkie, I think you're hearing it differently than I am wanting it to be heard. It sounds to me like you're collapsing blame and responsibility, like it's someone's *fault* if they commit suicide. What I mean is not that at all, because blame, shame and fault have no place in a life I love. I'm not talking about "holding people responsible." And I'm not talking about selfishness; not as a judgement, anyway. When I say there's often self-absorption there, I mean what I was feeling recently during a bout of depression: I just couldn't bother myself to worry about anyone else but myself. It wasn't really till I took responsibility for my own well-being above everyone else's that I started to feel good.
So, yes, people who make choices to smoke or race cars or go on hunger strike, I believe, will feel good if they take 100% responsibility for their choices, and will feel bad if they don't. And they have a choice to assume 100% responsibility for the impact their way of being has on others, just as those others have 100% responsibility for their response to the ways of being of the smoking race-car driving hunger striker. It's not like if one person assumes total responsible, that means the other person is not responsible. That would be blame-shame-fault talk.
Regarding violence: I believe that violence is the deliberate act of harming or destroying someone's well-being. And suicide certainly falls into that category! I recognize that poor mental health can leave a person at the effect of her illness -- I'm not saying she is to *blame* for the violence she perpetrates against her body. And part of generating the environment I'm talking about is a preference that treatment for such illness include a spotlight on the power of the person and her responsibility, rather than casting her as a victim. I believe that going towards feeling good is much more effective than going away from feeling bad. That's just me, though -- I'm no doctor.
And to your last question: It's not that I want to deny the existence of suicide or even its contemplation. It is that I would strongly prefer to generate an environment in which people aren't limited to thoughts like: "my death would be a relief to others." I would like to generate an environment where light is shown brightly, and people who are feeling bad have abundant, overflowing opportunity to feel good and to be grateful for life. Feeling good even if they are in great pain; even if they are considering suicide; even if life is really difficult; even if they are sacrificing their well-being in some way.
I am in favor of, and committed to, feeling good, for myself and for the world.
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