[Acting Like Godot]

The first point to note, before we proceed, is that we've currently narrowed the "act as if" discussion to a very narrow aspect - relating to confidence/competence. I'm fine to proceed on this basis - but thought that I should just point that out.

"Act as if" in fact can extend to all sorts of other things. For example, if you are over-anxious and suffering from stress, one effective way to relax and calm down is simply to breathe like a deep relaxed, calm person - that is, breathe deep and slow. By imitating the physiology of a calm, relaxed person, you do become calm and relaxed. This is a simple example of "act as if" at work.

Originally Posted by nick pagan

The thing that I discovered through my engineering studies and through life in general is that every problem has a cause. Discover the cause and eliminate it and all the symptoms of the cause disappear. If you can't eliminate it then understand it, contain it and manage it.

This relates to human personality as much as it does to engineering.

The above may be true, but I think it is not correct to attribute this to the scientific method. In just about any field of human activity, it would be true to say that every problem has a cause - but it is eminently incorrect to suggest that the scientific method can or should be applied to discovering the cause of any sort of problem.

As a mattter of fact, there are numerous problems in law, economics, sociology, politics, accountancy, human resource management, art, finance, music, literature, religion, architecture, business, commerce, education etc etc which are simply not susceptible to investigation by the scientific method.

It's the basis of all effective (i.e. predictable and repeatable) problem solving. The mysteries of the mind and of personality are understandable (and hence controllable) through understanding the cause and effect mechanisms at work.

My, now you sound like a Buddhist.

As a matter of fact, "every problem has a cause" sounds like a description of the law of karma which the Dalai Lama once used.

Which simply goes to show, once again, that you can't apply the scientific method to everything.

If it is only ever a feeling or belief then, according to this definition, I am wrong. My definition of confidence is the certainty of achieving a result and hence my proposal that confidence comes from competence, i.e. why leave it as a feeling or belief when it can be changed into a known certainty (or as far as is reasonably possible)? I would always opt for that and engender it in my life rather than for depending upon a feeling or belief.

Your definition doesn't take us very far, because if we go by such a definition, there are numerous things I am confident about. I am confident, for example, that I can use a fork and spoon; that I can walk; that I can put on my own shirt; that I know how to turn on a TV set.

Once you look at this way, confidence looks rather irrelevant. A more meaningful definition has to include the idea of achieving a positive result in circumstances which may objectively be regarded as challenging or difficult.

With most of the other arguments that you make you mix one level of ability with a separate level of ability in order to prove your point.

Then ignore those particular arguments.

The simple point is that some people are more confident than others, even when there is no difference in their competence level for that specific activity in question.

For example, suppose you and I are to do something that neither of us have ever done before and both of us have no relevant past experience or skills (it could be to learn to fly a helicopter; or learn Japanese in six weeks; or whatever).

One of us is going to be more confident than the other. Confidence will certainly not be the sole determinant of success, but clearly a big lack of confidence can be a major disadvantage.

And if a big lack of confidence is the problem, then I think that the "act as if" approach may certainly help.

A lack of confidence in one's abilities normally comes from a recognition that the abilities are not up to delivering the desired result. Developing more ability develops more confidence. I really don't see how a great surplus of confidence can overcome the very real deficit in ability needed to deliver a result?

Okay, here is a simple example.

I used to be in the army. Now, when a batch of new recruits come in for Basic Military Training, all of them are exposed to new scenarios and situations, where all of them are equally inexperienced and equally new. Nevertheless some recruits are obviously more confident than others, generally, (and not just in relation to one or two particular activities).

Now, one of the things that all recruits have to learn is how to throw a grenade. This is very easy. Basically:

(1) you pull the safety pin;
(2) you throw the grenade as far as you can, over a fortified concrete wall;
(3) you duck for cover, behind the fortified concrete wall;

It is REALLY not much to learn, in terms of competence. A kid should be able to do it. During the dry run, (when all the recruits throw a dummy grenade filled with sand), everybody gets it right, 100%, all the time.

But when it comes to the actual throwing of a live grenade, there is a very real training risk. The risk is the frightened recruit.

In every batch, when it comes to the throwing of a live grenade, you'll inevitably find some recruit who is so lacking in confidence that he can't get Steps (1) to (3) right. He will be nervous, frightened, scared. He will do something dumb like:

(a) throw the grenade before pulling the pin (which is funny, but not dangerous); or

(b) pull the pin but forget to throw the grenade - he stands there frozen in fear, with the activated grenade in his hand (this is VERY dangerous); or

(c) pull the pin and out of nervousness, drop the grenade at his own feet (this is VERY dangerous).

And well, people have died, because of this.

An extreme example perhaps, but it demonstrates how a lack of confidence actually chokes your competence. It should be well in the competence of every able-bodied person to perform Steps 1 to 3, but the lack of confidence can completely paralyse that competence.

The effects of the lack of confidence on competence probably happen all the time in everyday life, albeit in smaller, less dramatic ways.

Other than building competence to deliver desired results, what is your solution for people who don't feel confident to do something? And by this I mean a reliable and dependable solution with a very high likelihood of success and without relying upon luck?

Personally I tinker with interesting little things like self-hypnosis. Not for confidence (I happen to have that attribute in abundance), but for other sorts of behavioural patterns. But I don't think you'll want to hear me go on about self-hypnosis, so I won't.

Outside of self-hypnosis, I would suggest that for people lacking confidence to do something, one approach is to analyse why you lack confidence; in what other situations have you experienced a similar lack of confidence; what is the common factor in these situations; when did this all begin, and why.

If the person traces it back far enough, often he will see that there was a specific incident or series of incidents which caused the lack of confidence, and then he will realise that the lack of confidence is irrational, because what happened in that distant past is really quite different from the situation now.

For example, if a person lacks confidence at work, he may trace it to a time when he was doing badly in school and his confidence got hammered. On further analysis, he may realise that in fact, his current work is very non-academic in nature, and the fact that he did badly in school should not prevent him from doing his work well now. This realisation may lead to greater confidence.

The other way is to "act as if".

You see, you have suggested that to build confidence, you have to build competence first. The problem is that in the first place, the lack of confidence prevents you from building competence, because without the confidence, you won't even try (you're just like the kid clinging to the edge of the pool screaming for Mummy's help).

If you could "act as if" you were more confident, you might release your grip on the edge of the pool. You may push off gently into the water. You may realise that it's not so scary to have water up to your neck. Then you may realise that it's not so scary to put your face in the water and blow bubbles. Next you may realise that even if you swallow some water, you won't die. And next you'll try a little kicking in the water ... and next ..... and next .... and suddenly you can swim.

But first you gotta release your grip on the edge of the pool. Yes, you're scared. Here's where "acting as if" would help you.