Quote:
Originally Posted by Erki  Are women seen as someone weak or something, who need constant protecting? |
No! Most of the time we can manage things ourselves - but there are always situations where you feel overwhelmed, and in that circumstance you want to know that there is "someone on your side". And actually men feel sort of the same thing - they too want someone who will love and support them when things arn't going that well for them.
For those who say - I don't need someone to protect me - yeah right! The mythical superwomen. The nature of the human condition - for men and women - is that life can be tough and there are always circumstances where you want some help. It's what being a couple is about - someone on your team to bat for you, no matter what. And the reason women look for men who have protective urges is that they don't want to end up with someone who dumps them when things are going wrong (eg when pregnant). The reason men look for someone loving and supportive is actually the exact same - they don't want someone to dump them when something goes wrong eg when they lose their job through no fault of their own.
I shouldn't have used the phrase "to protect from other men who are jerks" - it sounded like a bar room brawl where people are competing for women. What I meant instead was help with the jerks of ordinary life - the garage mechanic who is trying to rip you off because he's intuited that you are a woman who doesn't know much about cars. Or a sympathetic ear when you tell him all about the jerks at work playing office politics. That sort of thing.
I'm probably not getting my point across properly. All I know is that when I was single and things went wrong (anything from having my car broken into, to having a bad day at work), I used to get very depressed and low. Now I don't simply because I have someone to cheer me up, take my side, cuddle me and make supportive noises. I feel better within half an hour of coming home. I feel sort of "protected". My husband feels the same way - things that used to get him down don't because he too now has someone to take his side and some of the load.
Coupledom isn't really about looks or money or possessions or any that rubbish that they write about in magasines. It's about finding someone you click with on many levels, who will always look out for you and take your side no matter what.
When people are looking for someone, what they should ask themselves is a) do I get on with them, do I enjoy being with them b) do I feel better when I'm in their presence and worse when I'm away from them and c) do I feel they'll always be on my side no matter what. That's it. All the rest is irrelevant. After seven years of marriage my husband has developed a beer belly and spends loads of time online playing Star Wars fantasy games, but I don't care because a), b) and c) are still working for me.