[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Angela

Was it SonoranBob the other day who said something like, "why should they change what they're doing, since they've found someone like you who has such low standards that they're willing to accept such terrible behavior?" (he said it much better.)

What I mean is: in this case, you have been condoning your dad's abuse by making yourself present to it again and again. Have you ever said something along the lines of, "Look, Dad, I'm not willing to subject myself to your constant criticism, yelling, complaining, fault-finding; I'm committed to living a life I'm in love with and that junk has no part of living a life I love. You're free to keep criticising, yelling, complaining, and finding fault with me, but I won't be around to hear it if you do. So: make your choice, Dad -- do you want to keep a loving daughter, or do you want to keep your junk? I'm happy either way -- it's up to you."

Being a victim means allowing another person to dump his junk all over you and making it your own. You're allowed to say No, Thanks! if you want to life a life you're in love with. That's not running away at all! And it's not cutting him off, either. It's making a stand for how you want to life your life, regardless of the actions of others.

It's up to you, Rockchick! You get to choose.

Well,i kinda feel like i already do that because i kinda shut it out and ignore it and keep on doing whatever i was doing. I certainly dont change how i live or act just because it upsets him. I kinda feel like i should treat him like a crying baby,the more you pay attention to their crying,the more they will continue to do it cuz they know it gets your attention. So thats why i ignore his negative remarks because he'll know he's getting a rise out of me which is what he wants,attention.