[testac]

I've made a realization about relationships I'd like to share and receive feedback on.

In the past I've always dated girls with whom I would become very co-dependant with - always texting and calling them, being with them every chance I got, and feeling a sense of longing when they weren't around. The depression, frustration, and loneliness I always felt after a breakup forced me into a (nearly) asexual form of being over the past two years - who wants to live a life where you just repeatedly go up and down an emotional roller coaster with no end? During my hiatus I've been figuring out what I really want in life and I've made great progress in all areas except for relationships, until now:

The kind of relationship I want now is not just about sex and needing and the emotional roller coaster associated with it... it's about finding someone to grow with. Helping your partner and yourself become better people. Making goals as a unit and achieving them. You may want to give your partner the greatest sexual satisfaction they've ever felt, but that is something to do and share together. Or perhaps it is to break free from The Rat Race so you can pursue your passions, but the point is that you utilize your skills, resources, and openness to sharing and growing TOGETHER to make it happen. Teams working towards a common goal have a much better chance of being successful than just an individual.

I feel a slight emptiness now, knowing that I spent so many years chasing girls who I knew would give me this rush of almost manic ecstasy followed by extreme depression. But I feel this incredible sigh of relief and excitement knowing now what I'm really looking for, which till now was completely beyond my comprehension. I feel like I've broken free of long-standing chains and while I can look back and remember how exciting the roller coaster was, I am glad to say that I will not turn back to it. I think the moral of the story is truly knowing who you are and what you want is such a powerful concept!