Hi Chado2423,
You may want to start by giving yourself a break. You seem to be pretty hard on yourself, which isn't uncommon. I know I'm my hard on myself and at times I can be my own worst enemy, but that's a great thing to know. It's means I'm in control, not anyone else.
If you want to change, change your focus. You might start by asking different questions. People who are always down and out ask terrible questions of themselves. Start asking more powerful questions. You could start with,
"If I was confident, sexy, rich and a great lover what would I do?
...how would I act?
...what would I think?
See what kind of response that gets you - be persistent and mentally change your focus. If you're looking for some inspiration, check out:
Change Stephen Martile — Personal Development Made Simple