[ellie]

ok I'm embarking on the same sort of journey, but I would say this, you need time away from your job.

Let me explain, how it has worked for me.

Right so my last full-time job I was really drained, emotionally and pysically. I thought to myself there must be more to life than working for someone else and getting screwed over. If I'm going to work for the 30+ years I need to find something that really suits me. If I'm going to work, I don't want it to be a chore.

I then said to myself, right I need to work three days a week to try and find myself and see what I really want to do with my life.

So a opportunity came up to work freelance for a company three days a week. I wasn't that happy there, they were nice enough people but I was just over working for anyone else and being told what to do.

So anyway, I finished up freelancing with them just before christmas (I had said that was what I wanted). So in the last 1.5 months I have really started to do things that interested me and it has been the most rewarding experience. The first few weeks, I was really lost, worrying about my future and job etc and then slowly said to myself, well lets spend a good few months trying to do things that I might enjoy, this is my chance to really find my calling.

So I slowly came up with ideas, things that I had always wanted to do, but put them on the backburner because I thought I needed more money, more development, need to be really BIG or nothing at all. I gave things a try, and let go of the idea of doing things perfectly (not doing it's all or nothing). Anyway, a lot of things didn't seem to eventuate into anything, but one idea which was actually a new idea, seemed quite good. So I went on the lookout for a developer (online) to help me with my project. I thought there was no way I would find anyone with the money I had and the requirements I was after, but somehow I found a developer and he has been great and we're on the same page. The funny thing years ago I said, If only I could team up with a good developer, I could do some great things.

Anyway, what I found through this whole process is my passion, which is that I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I've always nown this deep down, but I just kept blocking out, because...well it's not the norm. The norm, is getting a 9-5 job and making a wage. However, going through this process I just was overcome with so much excitement and I just blurted out this is what I love doing and it was so obvious!!! and yet it wasn't clearly obvious before. I began to remember when I was younger I was always making things, coming up with ideas and always trying to pitch ideas. I remembered coming up with ideas was the thing that I always did when I was younger.

Now I don't know how this new idea will go, it's at it's early infacy stage, and who knows it might flop, but it doesn't matter to me, because at the end of the day I found what I love doing and get's me really excited. I now understand when people say you have a "calling". Or that you have a passion, you just have to search for it. Before I was like, "yeah, I'll never have a passion", but now I realise that is so not true.

So I would recommend, taking some time out to find what really suits you. You may go through, the scary stage, where you think "I better get back into the real world and get a boring full-time job", but I would say when you get to that point, just wait a bit longer and push yourself a little more to find out who you are and what you really want to do.