[Chado2423]

I'm having a problem with the Act as if... point of view...
While on one hand I want to change and be a better person, I don't want to pretend that I am something or someone I am not. I indeed do want to change into who I want to be, but how can I get there without disregarding who I really am right now? I don't want to pretend to be more confident, if my confidence is truly lacking, I don't want to plaster a fake smile on my face, if I am not truly happy in my soul... I do want to eventually achieve happiness, but I don't see any genuine retrospect coming from this theory of "act as if" and besides I've tried this approach with my friends, and they see right through the guise and mire, and they can sense that I am more troubled than I am pretending to be. So what does "Act as if..." truly mean... to pretend to be something we are not, until it becomes a reality seems contrary than actually becoming something we are not. I'm going nowhere in life... I'm moving like a zombie... I'm just a sad depressed loser, who seems incapable of growing up and making his own choices. I used to be different, but I don't know how to go back to that. I used to make a lot of choices that positively impacted both my life and the lives of others, but lately I've failed in that endevour.