Hi, some of what you describe sounds like Asperger's Syndrome - have you ever seen a psychologist to have yourself tested?
Why don't you dedicate a chair in your house to "feeling nervous, self conscious with no eye contact". Every time you sit in the chair you are allowed to feel and act this way, but at no other time. At first you might sit in the chair 10 times a day, but slowly reduce this to 1.
Also, I would start a program of building social confidence from scratch, increasing the level over time. Try and determine what level of social contact you can handle now comfortably (for example, is speaking on the phone O.K? or if not, maybe instant messaging?). Graduate from that to chatting to people on the phone (maybe install Skype on your computer - there are penpals around the world who want to speak, and it is free). Chat for longer and longer periods each day.
When you are comfortable chatting all day long with people on the phone, then start meeting them in low stress environments that still involve some physical distance and privacy. Maybe do some voluntary work where you are likely to meet kind people - like maybe in an animal shelter or doing some phone work for a charity; delivering meals to old people in a van etc.
From there, take up an activity with a greater level of social contact, like playing a team sport, joining a chess club or something where you will meet a lot of people.
When you get that together, then you are ready to start testing your confidence against the female of the species. Take up ballroom dancing - you will be forced into close physical proximity with many women, but you don't necessarily have to talk much.
After that, start going on dates, attending self help seminars (which are full of nice girls often looking for a relationship); and focus on communicating a lot with people wherever you go.
Give yourself 6 months to do this.
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