[Keith]

Originally Posted by Erki

So, evolutionarily speaking, childbirth is wrong?

Evolution doesn't think in terms of "right" and "wrong" (Evolution doesn't think, period). We've developed the ability to feel pain because it's useful to know when we suffer trauma so that we can react. Since it makes little difference evolutionarily whether the mother feels pain or not (they can't cancel the birth at this stage and the pain doesn't seem to deter them from having further children) an exception to the general pain response conferred no evolutionary advantage and wasn't selected for.

Childbirth is very, very "right" in evolutionary terms since without it there's no evolution!

Originally Posted by Lisa McGregor

First of all, Congratulations NM.

Seconded.

Originally Posted by Erki

@8 more years: but men never have to and never can go through such torture - is a bond between them and their children then always unattainable then?

I would say yes, but not because of the pain. Pregnant mothers go through biological changes including hormonal changes to prepare them for motherhood. ie. Nature primes them to care for the baby. Since fathers don't undergo this biological change, their connection to the baby won't be the same.

They can certainly love the baby, but they won't experience it the same way as the mother. I'm not a father though. (Conversely, since I'll never be a father who's also experienced being a mother that doesn't necessarily make a difference).

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

The problem that I have with discussions over whether or not child birthing SHOULD be painful or not, is that it then leaves those of us who did experience pain as feeling like we must not have done it RIGHT. Just another reason for us woman to be shamed into not feeling like we've not done the birthing process correctly.

Oh dear lord, no!!! If you produced a healthy baby (and a healthy mother) then you did it right. (If you didn't, that's not necessarily due to anything you did, either).

If you can find a birthing method that produces a healthy baby and is pain-free that's a bonus, but whether or not you experience childbirth pain is no reflection on your quality or value as a mother.