Hi Jcs,
It sounds like you've had a really rough time - I'm sorry to hear about it. Having been through some depressive episodes myself, I've found the Sedona Method (
Sedona Method (official site) The Secret self-help program; self-improvement technique) really helpful for letting go of how I'm feeling. It's very similar to EFT, which is really popular here. The course is expensive but the book is a reasonable price and it's a good place to start.
I hope things improve for you,
J x