[Freelancer]

First, what project/manual are you working on?

Project 3 competent communication communication.

1)In general we start a toastmaster speech in our club with:
"Fellow Toastmasters, dear Guests"
But I don't know how you do it in your club.

Your correct, I will correct it in my next draft.

2) Don't open a speech like that. Just cut that part out. Take responsibilty for bringing the message to your audience. Don't say them: You won't agree with me either way, but at least listen to me.

A example or a good quote (Find the famous quotes you need, ThinkExist.com Quotations. is a good source) might give your speech a strong start.
Be bold.

Once again on point, I'll figure out a different opening.

3) Your speech lacks examples or mental images. Describe one of those instances. That creates rapport. You might use that story to start your speech.

I considered it but didn't have the time to incorperate it in the speech (had a train to catch).
Next draft (posted here as well) it'll get updated.

4) Shorter and more strong (because more direct): Assume responsibilty. Walk with your (you want to reach them!) head up high.

Excellent, I'm loving your suggestions.
Marked for next draft as well.

I think it would be stronger when you want to close your speech that way to use the word proud also in the middle of your speech.

I can probably work this in somewhere. I'll look into it.
*cue's old tune* Next draft.

Agreed. Your introduction should be about why your audience should pay close attention to the rest of your speech. Why does it matter to them? What is in it for them? How can you grab their attention?

Example of this kind of intro: "Have you ever felt you had low self estem? Do you know anyone in your family with low self estem and feel that it is affecting them tremendously? Self-estem affects so many people in our society, and tonight, I'm going to talk about its causes and how we can rectify it."

This is just a quick attempt at an introduction for your topic, I'm sure you can come up with one better then what I just did. That intro is an example of a way to draw your audience into your speech, to make it more personal and more interesting to them, to answer the big question in the audience mind of "Why should I bother listen".

I like brutha's opening of either a famous quote or a short story about the despair most people are trapped in.
What you think?



Thanks for your help people, I appreciate it.
If I have any questions I'll be sure to ask them.